If you give a mouse a cookie...

This morning was a rough one, not because of a hangover or because of any of that...but because I woke up at 6 am in the blazing heat to find Morgan awake too. We were tired and sweaty and fell asleep on the couch (sorry Steve!) luckily there we slept for a good 5 hours and the started the day off happy. Today was a relax/chill day. Manda and Jen were recovering from their night and Morgan and I were just having a good ol' time. It was lawn/pool day today..except I think Jen took charge of all of it. We ran to the Dia to get some groceries...and that is about it. Around 8 o'clock, after we got showered and spruced up, we headed out to Margarita's  Pizza. Funny thing about Spain is, they don't follow American time...at all. Margarita Pizza wasn't open...and wouldn't be open till at LEAST ten pm. That is how they roll here. We noticed that lately. Everything closes for Fiesta time ( between 2-5/7 pm) and nothing is open on Sundays. Also they wake up late, and eat dinner E X T R E M E L Y late. 


After being successfully turned down by the restaurants in Valencina we resorted to going into Seville. Manda and Jen were going to stay home, recuperate and search for directions on Portugal...while Morg and I went out on the town...since we let them have their fun yesterday... 


We caught the bus and rode into town. We knew kind of where we wanted to go and headed in that way. We were going to go by the yellow cafe and the dance clubs by the water like last time. We walked down the strip gazing at all the restaurants..after we walked the whole strip we decided the first restaurant sounded amazing...oh, and they have English menus. It took us a while to order because the wording of even the English food sounded funny. We ended up getting a big glass of water, rice and chicken. We sat and chatted as we waited for our food to come. We had an epic heart to heart in that 3 hour dinner. Our food was absolutely deliciouso and to make it all better we were having a solid talk about life. 


After dinner we made our way to icecream...yummy as always..except I thought I was endulging in a icecream not normal to Americans..but come to find out I got Whipped Cream Ice Cream and Milk Chocolate. How original am I. Morg got a yummy brownie one and a fab chocolate one.  


Our next destination was to walk. We knew it was too early for the dancing to begin so we just wandered around the area. Walking up one strip, crossing the bridge and then repeating the whole thing. It was lovely outside. Warm with a crisp breeze and it was just smile worthy. On one of our walks we encountered a bar that served pina coladas...we had to embrace the opportunity and that is where we wasted another hour while Morgan helped me sort out my dreams and craziness in my head. 


We kept walking and we kept picking up on the people staring. I hope I am never put in a museum alive..because constantly being gawked at is not fun. It sounds pleasant when you are home by yourself but in all reality it sucks and makes you a little nervous. Since staring at us seems so popular we tried it ourselves. We got a drink at our favorite outside bar and sat on the edge people watching. If you have never people watched, stop reading this and go to the mall and people watch. One of the best things in life. We totally keyed into two groups. A man and a woman who started off sitting next to us and then jumped to a seat. They were obviously angry at each other. Speaking little and avoiding eye contact. Their body language screamed anger and we hit it on the nose. I know it. The other group was a man and two women (they never travel in pairs...only occasionally...there is always an outcast) one of the women was obviously dating the man...and the other was upset about something. The man was BORED out of his mind. I mean staring off into space...day dreaming to the point where I could almost invision his dreams. He yawned and answered slowly when being spoke to. For this situation we narrated what happened. Pretty much, according to Morg and I, the single girl just broke up with her boyfriend and they were trying to console her...but the guy friend didn't care...all he wanted was to get his girlfriend away and home. We hit that one on the nose too. So much fun people watching. Seriously go do it.

The time rolled around to be close to dancing time...so we strode across the bridge but noticed the waiter from the yellow cafe chucking bread of the top of the building. I pointed it out to Morg and we just laughed about how ridiculous it was...that is until we saw the huge amounts of giant fish attacking the pieces of bread. There had to be hundreds of fish stalking the bread, chomping and jumping at it. I didn't even know fish ate bread! I thought it was worms and particles from water...shows what I know! 


The dancing had started but it was pretty low-key compared to our experience the other week. There weren't as many people...and they weren't flocking to us like last time. Now I am not complaining because it was nice to not be attacked with Spanish boys...but it was weird. We then caught on...most of these boys were gay. This one little feller next to us was lifting his shirt and his...uh, man friend...? was rubbing his stomach. It was laugh worthy. There had to be at least 15 gay men in the same club where last week we were running away from it because of all the groping men. We did meet some girls who spoke English from Holland and also some nice guys who said they were French but spoke lots of English and Spanish. They taught us a little foot dance that we haven't quite mastered...but trust me..we will master it before the end of this journey. We left at 2:37 to catch the bus. It was still really nice out and we felt like we were on track. There were a few times I had Jenna's pepper spray out and loaded but I didn't have to use it. Thankfully!! It was then that i realized I REALLY had to pee. Every step was making my bladder a ticking time bomb. Every move was making me have to go. There was no way I was going to keep my cool running to the bus...there was going to be pee running down my leg...So...I did something bad. I peed. On a step...hidden from society...I kind of felt like a hobo...kind of freeing..except the whole ordeal took a whole minute and made us that much later for our bus. We ran and ran and ran and made it on the bus right in time.

We are home now, Morgan is in the shower and I am waiting my turn. Jenna and Manda awoke from the heat and are sitting next to me cuddling the dogs. We are all sweating but laughing about the things that happened. We all need to fall asleep...but will it happen...stay tuned tomorrow for the rest of the story....

Make sure she stays on her side!

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Fridayyyyy. Just kidding. In all seriousness we did get down on Friday. We started the day off...well to be honest I didn't wake up until 12:45 so I am not exactly sure what happened in the morning. I know that Morgan and Jenna went for a run and got hooted and hollered at by some guys and that Manda was watching some story about murders and kidnappings (really soothing)...but that is about all I got for you from the hours before I woke up.


Not much else exciting happened throughout the day. We sat around, ate fruit and played in the pool. We indulged in our books...and I finished mine. Side note = Jodi Picoult's books are wonderful!! Around 530 Jenna came out and told Morg and I that we were going to try to catch the 730 bus to get ourselves situated. We got ready..but we all were having hair issues so when we looked at the clock it was 733...we missed the bus. We waited around the house, and Morgan tried to teach us how to open non-twisty caps (a trick taught by Paul)...I never did master it. It is harder than  you think. We left in time to walk to the bus but just as we rounded the corner we saw the bus rolling away. It was 6 minutes early! So we sat around Morgan and I ran to the Dia (/grocery store) and got some wine in a plastic bottle and some chips ahoy. We laughed and laughed and waited for the bus to come. We had just enough money to get on the bus left on our cards. We sat in the back of the bus and had major heart to hearts. The bus ride seemed to take extra long but we did eventually get there. I didn't want to say anything in here but I have to say something because it makes our night different. A secret was told and tension was brought. We then walked downtown giving advice and soothing each other.


Once it was semi-resolved we strode toward any cafe. I was starving since I hadn't really eaten lunch that day. The first place we stopped at was just a bar and we got margaritas. They had a super creepy bathroom with pictures of what looked like Mother Mary....but wasn't and funny card photos of the Pope. It was just a funky bathroom...oh and the bar had half mannequins all over the place...and then had their plastic arms/heads/body parts hanging from the ceiling sometimes covered in fake blood. Needless to say it wasn't the classiest bar in town....They did serve wonderful Margaritas and, what do you know, we got free shots - caramel - just like the other two. Must be a Spain thing...see pretty girl, give caramel shot, write down facebook information, say goodbye to pretty girl. There must just be an unwritten code or something.


We were all starving at this point and we just wanted food. We knew Du Plex was around in the area and that they had decent food so we headed that direction. We went inside and got some wine and food ordered. I was so so so so so hungry it was unbelievable. I never did get a chance to eat all or pretty  much any of my food because of some events. 

We headed back to the bus station. Here I need to say something else: Manda and Jenna were pretty drunk at this point in the story making it a little difficult to get there. It was around 1230 am..and we were going to catch the one am bus. We weaved through the people and shushed Amanda as she yelled Spanish words that I didn't know were okay to be yelled in public. But we did make it to the bus station on time. On time enough to wait on the benches and snap photos of our beloved friends. Next we got on the bus and had a jolly ol' time entertaining some young Spanish people who moved closer to us as we talked. Probably because we weren't talking any language...it was my language...my gibberish that comes out of my mouth. My theory was no one would bother us if they don't know what we are saying so we just pretend like we are speaking a language and know what we are saying. Perfect plan until one of the Spanish boys asked where we are from and Manda sits up and says "Canada!!" Our cover was blown...Morgan tried to cover it up by telling them we were really from Antarctica...but they didn't buy that one either. We said quick goodbyes as we hopped off the bus and headed home. We tucked our cheery ol' friends into bed with a wet rag and a trash can. This is where the post name comes from: Manda was yelling "Don't let her sleep on my side! Jenna don't get on my side!! Don't you let her Mary and Morgan, Don't you let her get on my side!" It was hilarious. Once they were secure and zonked out Morgan and I headed to the cafe just down the street for food, because we were still STARVING! Buuuut they were closed, so we walked back, hopped the fence (really comforting to know people can do that...) and cooked ourselves some noodles, butter and cheese. It was the most deliciouso thing I have tasted in a long time. It was then cool rags and barely any clothes for the long night ahead of us. It was hot, hot, hot, hot and sweaty.  

It was a long, tearful, hilarious, fun night and in a way we never want it to happen again, but then again the memory was worth it. Time to fall into my hot bed and have sweet dreams! :)

Where's my boyfriend? Oh, he is over there with his wife and three kids....

This morning was another early get up and go. Grant it this time we were trying to get out of the house at eleven, which we did successfully. No lost dogs, no bad hair days, and no lost passports. The prime set up for a great day. Aquopolis was our destination today. A water park located in  Seville. We uploaded directions onto our iPods and thought that would be good enough. Google maps seemed to have it down to a T where we needed to go. We packed the car and started driving. I got to ride shotgun and help navigate since the directions were uploaded on my iPod. Manda, like always, was a brilliant driver. She took a wrong exit, but it was clearly and obviously my mistake. We whipped around and then took another exit that we were unsure whether it was the correct one or not. I would like to state here that Spain does a TERRIBLE job labeling. No billboards saying "Whoa hey there travelers turn here to go to Aquopolis!" or "This street is Hugga Bugga Street"...I mean it is horrendous. There is also six zillion roundabouts that if you take the wrong exit out of it you are screwed, yeah so that happened to us. I followed my iPod directions and we ended up in another town. Well I believe it was a suburb of Seville but we still were way the heck out there. We drove and drove and d r o v e d r o v e d r o v e d r o v e finally we went to the one location that is bound to have people - the airport. We pulled up and I hopped out to ask the taxi driver where Aquopolis is...except bad idea since I don't speak a bit of Spanish...hence the blog title. Luckily Jenna popped out of the vehicle to add some assistance. The taxi driver gave us some directions but in all honestly the what I got out of him talking was some mumbo jumbo that sounded like his cheeks were stuffed with mashed potatoes. But Jenna did understand some words like right and left and roundabout...so we were set. We headed the direction of the taxi driver. He made it sound like we would just see it and be like "oh golly gee we are so blind" but there was no magic poof and Aquopolis did not just appear...so we stopped at a gas station. Morgan was really hungry too...The man at the gas station spoke little English but drew us a not so pretty map. The one thing I got out of that was we were supposed to pass a swimming pool...know how I got that? He called it a piscine << same word for swimming pool in French. Go 1 year of college French, Yippeee! Morgan set with some almonds we headed back on the road. We hit a huge roundabout and took the exit the gas station man told us too....we passed the piscine..but still no aquopolis. We turned around and headed back toward the roundabout because Manda saw a sign that said water park. Sure enough around the roundabout and the exit before the one we just took was a sign for a waterpark. We traveled that way...but we still didn't see any water park. So we drove the wrong way down a one way and got honked at, but got good directions from a Spanish lady at a gas station. Following her directions very carefully we found it...and the drive that was supposed to take us a half hour ended up being two...oh well! 


We were all pretty grouchy so we immediately got food. I had pizza and it was slightly weird. It kind of tasted like there was ketchup on it instead of pizza sauce. But it did put me in a better mood. We then spent the next three hours riding the water rides. We raced down a big flat waterslide on our knees, we took inner tubes down a slide that was pitch black called "The Black Hole", we took inner tubes down a huge slide that shot you down a slide and then up a half pipe looking thing (the most fun), we hang glided into the water, we did the wave pool, and we soaked up the sun. It was really fun and a lot like any other water park. We were stared at less (but still stared at) and we felt more in our element. 


I had to re-apply sunscreen because I was looking a little red so we took a break. Laying in the shade for me, half and half for Manda and the full on sun for the McCann sisters. We did a few more runs on the hang glide taking pictures with Morgan's camera (and having the operator ask Morg for a kiss) and then decided to call it quits. We were tired and our skin was very angry at us (but I made out without a sunburn, helllll yes!). Morgan and I picked up some slushies and we were back on the road. 


We left the pool at around seven pm...and we didn't get home a little after eight. We got lost a lot more times taking turns when there were no signs. NO SIGNS. How are people supposed to know what to do in this country if they don't label?? I respect the red, white and blue for that one. Hallelujah for street signs everywhere.  

We got home, showered, dressed and went out to dinner. We ate at this quaint place Steve told us about. The menu was in clear Spanish and we forgot my world travel book and all three of the translators. We felt so confused. We asked our waiter to explain what each thing was...but instead he brought us an outdated but English menu. Score again for the Americas. It was still pretty hard to decide what we wanted because our options seemed limited. I most definitely wasn't going to be eating the 17 entrees that included fish, brains, liver, or sketchiness. So I decided on bread and ham. It sounded promising. Jenna got tomatoes and seasoning, Morgan the same as me, and Manda scrambled eggs and potatoes. We all liked our meals for the most part, but by far Manda's was the best. 

Cutest little girl at dinner...blew us kisses!

We sat around and I took pictures of the cute little kids that were running around (it was 10/11 at night...) and we chatted about everything...including Siamese cats..Morgan says they are all girls and Manda disagreed...I'm googling it right now....and....it...says...Morgan was wrong. Hahahahha we are laughing about it as I type. "Now Manda can give me crap.."--Morgan three seconds ago. We were planning on getting four different kinds of dessert, putting them in the middle and sharing...but when we asked for the dessert menu he just brought us different kinds of icecream. Works. The ice cream was definitely delicious...Jenna and I picked this ice cream bar combination that was one side icecream sandwich which then morphed into a dilly/heath bar. Manda and Morg had super yummy chocolatey king cones (the cones with the chocolate at the bottom). Both were super duper delicious and we were all satisfied. We got into conversation and lost ourselves for a while. We didn't start to realize we wanted our check till the lady in the next table started smoking, giving us all headaches. We weren't sure how to get our check..but before we could even ask our waiter whipped by and dropped off shots. They looked similar to the ones from the other night and tasted similar also. We were so stunned. People in this country are so nice to us. Bringing us free stuff and waiting on our every need. We never want to go back to the States. We don't want to be normal again, I am liking this free stuff way too much. We got our check and left our waiter a nice tip.


We got home and relaxed. My head is pounding from the cigarette smoke but I have a full belly and I am smiling. It was a good night. Blessings to all and to all a good night! :)

Who has a Jon Tester haircut?

All today I kept forgetting whether it was Tuesday or Wednesday...even just now after I typed that I had to look at my computer to know what day it was. That must mean I am having one hell of a time and don't need to know the days of the week! It was another lounge day full of chores and facebooking. I didn't really take any photos except for our wonderful dinner that Manda made for us. 


The couple productive things that happened today are as follows:


We cleaned the pool - scrubbing and all, we watered the lawn, did laundry and picked up dog poop. We also tried to get the dogs to the vet. The vet office we planned on going to said something about emergency only and the doors were all locked. Sooo we went back home after making Clyde super anxious about gettting to ride in the car and then researched vets in the Seville/Valencina area. Jenna called around...she was pretty nervous because it is one thing to talk to a non-English speaking person in person because you can use the universal hand gestures to get your point across...that is unless they are blind..but then again we haven't ran into many of those. Oh but talking on the phone to a non-English speaking person is a whole different ordeal, you will not take anything from that conversation and the person on the other end will be pissed off and you both will be fuming and grouchy afterwards. Luckily the vet office we called understood when Jenna said "Hola, uh, well, I speak English" and the lady said "Me too". She thus began to explain the looks of the creepy crawlers and got prices for a visit. It was pretty pricey just to even go to the doctors office and get them checked let alone buy the treatment...so we called Steve and he said to go ahead and buy something like Frontline to kill the bugs. Sooo Manda, Morg and Jenna all went to the vet office to pick up the stuff, while I, like a watchdog, guarded the house. The dogs were given medicine and I took a two hour nap.


After the chores were done we sat down to a delicious dinner consisting of actual chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob. We man handled that food like it was nobodies business. We sat at the table eating and devouring until there was no room in our stomachs for anything else. 


I picked out bugs out of Clyde's hair. Out of sight out of mind is my new motto for those buggies. I am obsessed with getting them out of their hairs because they just freak me out. The meds should work in a week but until them Clyde will have to deal with me attacking his ears with a paper towel. 


The post name comes from Jenna. She has very thin hair and when I braided it she looked like Jon Tester. Well more like she looked like she had a Jon Tester haircut. It was hilarious. 
The rest of the night consisted of dishes and watching Pretty Little Liars. Exhausted and excited for tomorrow (Water Park!!!!) we are heading to bed early! Another short post, but still one neat day! Blessings & good tidings! :)

Mummy, Do I Smell Like Boy?

At the Highest Point - Gibraltar

August 2nd had to be an eventful day because August 1st consisted of nothing. We woke up really early to head to Gibraltar...like 7 am early...I was proud of us. We had intentions of getting out of the house at 730 but it didn't quite happen for us. It wasn't because any of us were slacking it was because we lost Jesse James.


As we were packed up and heading out the door we called the animals into the house. Clyde darted in but there was no sign of JJ. We assumed he must just be in the house so we searched. He wasn't anywhere. I checked the house, Amanda re-checked the house while Morgan and Jenna checked outside. No JJ. He was last seen sitting in my door frame staring at me with those big brown puppy eyes begging for attention...and that was sometime this morning. We searched calling out his name, this dog  was one heck of a good hide-and-seeker. We heard no barks, or whines coming from anywhere....he was not giving out his position. We all stood stumped..how could this small wiener dog hide from four smart girls. We did another search of the property when I had an idea. Outside of the gate. It seemed unlikely since the only way out is through the giant metal gate that is locked at all times...but what do you know, there is Jesse James sitting patiently on the other side of the gate. Staring up at me like "I've been here the whole time lady". I have not the slightest idea how he managed to get out there or why he didn't come back in the way he got out...but my nonsense questions don't matter because he is safe and still flee infested...

The drive to Gibraltar wasn't too bad. We were all kind of tired since we aren't used to waking up so dang early, but we made the best of it. Laughing about baby diapers and jamming out to all the new tunes downloaded the night before - Jenna would like me to add that we are way to gangster for her to handle... Entering Gibraltar was another story. The lines were huge and we wanted to get as close as possible before parking because we had no idea what we were doing. The traffic was slow and we waited in line slowly edging toward the great rock. Now here is a little edumacation about Gibraltar to help you out through this blog. It is believed to be formed when the continents split and formed Spain and Africa. Then the continents collided and out shot Gibraltar...well...that is more or less what happened...then there was some sort of war and England won the area of Gibraltar...so now when you enter into the city of Gibraltar you are entering another country so you need your passport. There, quick education lesson now you are set to go.  

Our passports were technically useless. We flashed them outside of our window at two cops who really didn't look at them...simply glanced and waved us through. I'm talking a roll by customs...and I didn't even get strip searched this time! It was awesome! We parked the car and walked to the city across this giant airport runway. There were tons of people everywhere and they weren't staring at us anymore. We were no longer the only light haired American girls around, or the only English speakers. It was nice for a change to be able to ask directions in English, have someone UNDERSTAND you and then get a reply in perfect clear English. The weirdest thing. As we were walking down the main street browsing the stores and making our way to the gondola lift (where we thought we should go to start this stuff) a man with a British accent stopped us, stuck his cigarette to my hand (on accident, and I'm okay), convinced us to take a taxi to the top, and got us all excited to see Gibraltar. The taxi/bus was 25 Euros but we got to see all stops and got pictures with the monkeys. We went with two other groups - a wife and a husband and then a man, woman and daughter. Manda, Jenna and Morgan took seat in the backseat of the bus while I pinned myself in the next row next to the window. The couple sat shotgun and the little family sat next to me. They were British and the little girl was very cute. I just love children so I asked her the simple questions such as her favorite color - and she replied back to me in British, it was adorable. She is where this post gets it's name. She asked her mum if she smelt like a boy...very cute! 

We first stopped at St. Michael's Cave. Huge caverns similar to Lewis and Clark Caverns, except Spanish..oops! English I mean. This cavern had a stage and chairs. They probably host weddings and plays in there and charge a bucket load but it would be awesome. Made me want to be acting to be on that stage. We then stopped at the Pillars of Hercules which is where you can see Africa. It was pretty cloudy and hard to distinguish what was clouds and what was Africa, but we did see it and took lots of photos of it. It was during the ride to the next stop - the highest point - that I bonded with Annabelle (the little girl). We talked about chapstick and she was fascinated with me, asking questions about my bracelets and hair and friends, she seriously is adorable. The highest point was breathtaking. Every direction you turned your head you were looking at something spectacular. Ships in the harbor, Africa, or just pure ocean. It was also here that we got to play with the monkeys. All throughout the journey there were monkeys to take photos of but up here we got to get up close and personal with them. Our bus driver had a little monkey jump on our heads so we could take photos. It was quite the experience. He was a cute monkey until he moved his hands and stabbed Morg in the eye. She is okay, no diseases and she can still see 20/20. Our last stop was at the Great Siege Tunnels. Tunnels made for military defense. We got to see how the cannons poked out the side of the rock and how it was all set up. VERY cool! We enjoyed the view some more and had Annabelle spell "Jamon" for another photo and then were back on the road for the end of the tour.   


We said our goodbyes to our new five year old friend and went to eat lunch. It was pretty hot out and it felt good to sit and relax while enjoying some good food (burgers and fries). We then went back down the main street and shopped. We didn't buy much since we were all pretty burnt out for the day but it was an experience. Trying to convert pounds to euros and guessing which language was going to come out of the salesperson's mouth. We grabbed a smoothie and headed back to Seville. The traffic going back into Spain was A W F U L. We sat one car away from the roundabout that would take us out of town for a solid thirty minutes. Once around that we had to sit in line to pass through customs...which took thirty minutes to sit in our car and five seconds to flash our passports at a cop who didn't even look at them. We were all really tired and Manda did a wonderful job driving us back. We made it there and back in one piece and without getting lost with her talents (oh and Jenna's good map reading skills). 

We stopped at the grocery store to pick up fruit, bread, and chicken for our meals to come. We all were pretty angsty and we definitely needed to get in a better mood...so we cooked garlic, oil and bread. Instantly we were all chipper. The rest of the night can't really be put into words. It was hilarious and so many things happened that it would be hard to type them all out. Jenna and Amanda planked everything...even the toilet, making planking history I swear. Morgan and I skyped Jake Myers for a solid hour and Amanda sang to us in Hebrew. It was epic. 


We all crashed and slept like babies. Until the next time ya'lll :)

Here two llama for your papa

This is what we did today:

1. Watered lawns

2. Laundry

3. Swept

4. Googled

5. Cleaned kitchen

6. Killed ants

7. Pulled bugs of dogs

8. Facebooked

9. Stole music from each other

10. Read

11. Watched Bachelorette

12. Ate grilled cheese

13. Napped

14. Went looking for food in Valencina = fail

15. Went to McDonalds instead

16. Smiled

It was weird because today nothing crazy exciting happened or anything. We didn't even go swimming in the pool, because it was chilly and windy. We sat inside and did the above things. Today was a uneventful, relaxing, wonderful day. I have nothing else to say, there is no more to say...

I laughed so hard I think I peed a litte

Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. That is all this dang country has is bugs. All my dreams last night involved those creepy little vampire bugs and to make it worse I awoke to Lola, the stupid never ending purring cat, purring in my face. I pushed it...okay maybe threw it...across the room and BOING back up it goes purring and winding its skinny body in my business. It was the last straw of mine, she was done for. I picked it up and chucked it outside slamming the door hard and tight behind its butt. I think this country is making me less nice, I didn't even feel a bit of sorrow. I then went back to bed on the couch but bugged out Clyde climbed between my legs and fell asleep. I was so scared to move, afraid that those vampire bugs would see me moving and jump from him to me. Jenna had bad dreams about bugs too! But she was sleep talking to Amanda about dancing tomorrow... Bad dreams, bad bugs, bad bad bad bad B A D! 


Even though we woke up 45 minutes after our alarm we still made it on the road around 10:30. We were headed to the same beach as last time...so about an hour away. In between the time we got up and went going we found a hoard of ants in the kitchen, Jenna cleaned the pool...naked, and Morgan was once again a scary monster. But we did get on the road...and we didn't get lost at all. It was super duper amazing! It was blazing even at 11:30 am and we set up camp. We then played in the water and laid in the sun. Then we were feeling really feisty and said you know what "when in Spain!" So off went our tops. We perused around topless and got a few more stares then before but it was probably because we are light haired not topless. We decided that they tend to start them off early, there were babies with no tops, children with no tops, teenagers with no tops, and grandmas with no tops. No matter what - they are in a bikini...big or small and they rock them with all the confidence in the world. America could definitely learn something from these people. Jenna and I decided to leave our camp out site to walk toward the people and town about 2 1/2 miles down the beach. We walked and everyone stared. We have tops on by the way. But they just stared, all we could come up with is that she is a true blonde and is super tan and I was seriously the only "white" person on that beach. The only red-head and the only one with freckles. I was like a freak of nature, I was too much for them to handle. Dem fiery redheads just cause problems. 

When we made it back to camp, Morgan and Manda were waiting on the boogie boards to tell us what had happened. While we were gone they both fell asleep on the towels. Morgan thought she was dreaming that we had came back and Jenna was shaking her awake. We said out loud "Jenna stop!" But when she woke up she saw that the tide had risen all the way to our camp out, the tips of the towels and their toesies were getting wet. She yelled frantically at Manda to grab the stuff and move, Manda was kind of half sleeping and moaned and groaned but then saw what was happening and helped move camp. Good thing they didn't drown, that would be kind of a sad ordeal...


We sat around topless and soaked up some more sun. Once Manda, Jenna and Morg looked not Caucasian anymore we decided we should probably head home. The beach was fun but we were all exhausted. I slept the whole way home...so I don't really know if anything happened worth blogging about....It didn't I asked. 


We got home and let the dogs out. I was standing in my room when I hear Morgan yell "Maaarrrrrrryyy!!!" I go looking for the frantic scream and see Morgan standing over the fresh clean sheets that are swarming with ants. I mean they are everywhere. Thousands of ants, and that is no exaggeration what-so-ever. There was a little ant hill in the corner and they were climbing all over the walls. We stood there stunned at the millions of ants running idiotically around the room. Jenna grabbed the water/soap mixture that sends the ugly bugs to heaven and we started murdering. We sprayed, they died, and when there was no movement we waited for a wiggly movement. It came and more ants started running. Die bugs, DIE was all we could think. There eventually was no more movement and we took a sigh of relief. A total buzz kill, my happy high from the ocean was all gone and we were all shivering from the heebie jeebies. We wiped them up and then we put vinegar all over the room, covering their tracks. 

Showering felt amazing, slightly stung from my new sunburn (Sorry Mom!) but felt amazing to clean away all the sand and grossness that was stuck to my body like honey. We started dinner (noodles and cheese with garlic and bread..again YUM) and Jenna started the lawn watering. Morgan started the laundry of the dead ants and we all calmed down. Dinner was a funny experience, hilarious jokes were cracked, and we all sat in barely anything because we were burnt and hot. Noodles were put up noses and our maturity levels might have dropped to a solid 3rd graders but it was very fun and entertaining. 


Bugs - before dinner Manda was sitting on the couch and I was picking more blood suckers out of Clyde and Jesse James hair when she screams and points. Blood suckers were now invading the couch...crawling across the brown couch and semi blending in. It was horrible. I SLEPT on that couch last night. These buggers are like a bad boyfriend - stalking me, trying to get in my bidness, and showing up when I least expect it. Wish I could dump these vampire bugs and be done with them...but I can't they are everywhere!! We decided we would skype Paul McCann and see what he has to say about this situation...maybe we can spray the dogs with soapy water and make the bugs fall off...doubt it...but I will cross my fingers anyways. 


Everything is closed on Sunday's here in Spain. We couldn't go to the "Wal-Mart" of Seville because they were closed. Because we couldn't go there we couldn't get ourselves any chocolate or icecream..but we did see that McDonald's was open. We hopped in the car...with ME driving...and headed that way. I conquered my fear of round abouts..because they are at every other corner in this dang town. I need you guys to understand the McDonald's experience we had. In Spain you don't go out in sport shirts and shorts, you semi-dress up...look decent. We all were in sport clothes...I only had a sports bra on and shorts..because of my sunburn (Sorry Mom, I know that word makes you cringe). We were looking pretty redneck for Spain standards, but we thought "Hey, it is McDonalds"...we were wrong. That was the classiest damn McDonald's in the history of McDonald's. It was packed to the brim and the cashiers also got your food. It was being mass produced...but it also was going really super fast. We all got McFlurry's and received them quickly..all while...can I say it...being stared at. I know I am very white..and I know that my stomach is red...but stop staring at me. This one little girl was in a trance...my freckles must have been swarming in her mind because she was staring full on to my body. We ate outside and it was nice. << super lame sentence. I would just like to point out all the classiness and differences of this Mickey D's. 
1.You get 9 McNugget's...instead of 10
2. They call McChicken's...McPavo's
3. You can get onion rings for one dolla
4. You can get a pizza melt in your kids meal if you desire
5. You have the option of sitting in a full blown recliner...!!!
6. There is such thing as a McRoyal and a thing called a 1955...and you can eat them with your JoJo's
7. The play place is in a circus tent thing in another building and it has epic play stuffs.
8. The service is so incredibly speedy and efficent.

It was crazy. I drove us home in one piece while Jenna made weird noises and then we all sat down and did our normal night routine - facebook, skype, laugh, cherish, love and remember. Until next time! :) Peace and love my fellow Americanos.

Can these things crawl up my butt?

Saturday. Morgan and I were up early and Morgan cleaned a little bit. She pointed out to me these gray tick looking bugs crawling down the center of our bed, and I about pooped my pants. I slept with that...our relationship went from non-existent to sleeping together and I didn't approve of this. Morgan washed the sheets but I could still see there little gray legs flying a mile a minute into my sheets. All day consisted of the pool, reading, pool, pool, and more pool. We sat in the water for hours, we read for an hour then sat in the water again for another couple of hours. We didn't take ANY pool pictures today, it was nuts. Really nuts for me because I go coo coo cachoo for my camera and those photos. Jen and Manda made us some scrambled eggs that were a little off of American scrambled eggs but still were delicious. While we were doing that I noticed some little gray fuzzies stuck to Clyde's ear hair, looking closer it was those freaky little bug tick nuggets. I was freaking out. I held Clyde while vet daughter Morg plucked and smushed them, some of them curdling Clyde's blood. Poor guy. Then it came down to plucking them off of his genitalia...Morgan held his body upright and put a hard core grip on his wittle jaw so he wouldn't bite off any appendages while I (the hater of all bugs ever) snatched the grey buggers up and crunched them under my fingers. I felt the hard coating bend and snap under my fingers sending shivers up my spine and making me want to vomit. I hate bugs that much. I got them all though and thought I deserved one of those Boy Scout Brave Badges. JJ is our new project because he has just as many minature scary lion eaters. For precaution we striped the beds and are not allowing any more cuddling with the cute puppies or stupid, stupid, stupid cat. Also I was F R E A K I N G out about those guys running through my scalp...I have had lice one too many times to know that bugs sucking the life out of you is not a good feeling and I can't sleep for days...I was determined for this not to happen, EVER. I showered and looked at my crevices and then forced Morgan to comb through my hair while she ate her Popsicle. She didn't find any...BUT I think I can feel them. Oh, that is also where the title of this particular blog comes from. I was very concerned that they can crawl into my butt, plant themselves and turn me into the steam hut for the creepy grey colored tick buddies, Not Okay... 

Mah Sunburn...Awkward

We tried to catch the 8 o'clock bus...but it never came...well...it did but it was on the :25 and so we sat and Jenna made noises that made the Spanish people around us stare even harder. At one point she was looking at the schedule and yelled "Savido!!!" but with a manly high voice and the Spanish boy standing next to us just starts laughing, hard. She was a hoot and obviously delusional. The bus was packed and I sat next to a man...well I think it was a man. He was dressed in capri pants with a girly bag around his body, a teal shirt and a fluffy hat, oh but he had a nice big hairy mustache that kind of set me straight to his gender. Male. Anyways he kept pushing his arm into mine...which...crap I didn't want to have to say this but...Is sunburned severely, just one arm Mom and really awkwardly...but it hurt. I kept moving closer to the glass and he would just press his arm to mine. He wasn't even cold but my arm was protruding heat, smoking furiously. I don't know what his deal was but he most definitely trying to touch my arm lots. 


The original plan was to go eat dinner then go see Flamenco dancing. We ate at this restaurant who had English menus and looked like chicken nuggets. Our waiter slightly resembled Mr. Pyette and was quite sly. He played around with the menus...you know what I am talking about the "I am going to act like I am giving this to you but pull away when you reach" game and joked with us, he also spoke little English. He wanted to take our drink order and Morg and I got chocolate milkshakes (known to the Americans as chocolate milk) and Jenna ordered a Coca-Cola Light and before Amanda could make any sort of move to order he just walked away. We all laughed and joked that he probably can read minds and we will all be sufficiently worried if he comes back with a Coca-Cola light for Manda...because that is what she was going to order and he must know how to read minds then. Morg and my chocolate milkshakes come and we wait for the magic to happen, and what do you know, he brings over two glasses of Coca-Cola. We all laugh hysterically and he just had no idea...or did he.... His partner in crime, the other waiter, wanted to take a picture with us. They both smiled and laughed with us and then things hit the fan. We went nuts. Jenna started it by making cross eyed faces and tempting the group of guys sitting on the other side of the window outside. They stared, they all stare. But once Jenna started the craziness it all flew out of control. We were teaching each other funny faces and Morgan was laughing so hard that tears were rolling viciously down her face as she tried to form words. We were causing a scene...luckily there were only like three people in the whole restaurant. The fun didn't stop there, Morgan and I ate our chicken nuggets and rice happily enjoying the coconut pieces that fell out of the meat. Manda and Jen both got salads except Manda's was a lot better because she got a sweet looking bowl. At the end of our meal we got an unexpected surprise. Our waiter brings over a little plate of...well..at the time we had no idea what they were. It was a caramely shot topped off with a TON of whipped cream. He took a picture as we took our free candied shots...except Morgan and mine wouldn't come out of the glass. Our waiter tried helping morgan out by tapping on the bottom making her laugh but still no shot. Jen and Manda both swooned over the deliciousness of the shot while wiping the whipped cream off of their lips. I on the other hand tried again and got the shot to go down. Caramely it was and yummy it was also. Tasted like liquid ice cream and whipped cream. The waiters laughed and brought us our check. We most definitely scored free yummy shots because we are American...and just plain ol' funny.

 In Spain they bring the credit card machine to you...so our waiter stood there looking at our licenses and swiping our cards...10 euros each...BINGO. He got to Morgan's and laughed and laughed at her picture...then he got to mine. Please note that I am a fresh 15 year old with buck teeth and it looks like I have no hair in my photo...oh he laughed at my photo...called the other waiter over and they both heartily laughed at our photos. They got a big kick out of it. The other waiter told us that we weren't supposed to smile in our licenses but we informed him Americans do it with smiles, always. Then they got to Jenna's. They joked that it wasn't her in the picture and you know what her response was... "if that isn't me then who is the thirteen year old boy in hers?" -- she was referring to my license. See picture below for the real deal. 

Me as a 13 year old boy...

The waiter was super busy and was flying around the restaurant. He was outside serving guests out there when he knocked on the window next to Jenna's face. He held up the platter and motioned that he wanted her to come waitress. It was that freaking "I can read your mind" thing again...Out of everyone he picked the one person in our group who is a real live waitress...!!! Coincidence? I think not!! 


We waited around to catch a picture with our waiter before we left..even though we had hardly a half hour to get back to our bus. We were being good girls tonight and going home early. Once we finally caught him he said something to us first in Spanish...the other waiter translated it to "Want to come party and drink with us at 1 am?" We all smiled awkwardly for a few seconds, weighing the options by glancing at each others faces, finally Jenna replied with a  "No we really have to catch the 11 bus." He frowned but took the picture with us anyways. He then said something in Spanish to me and I just laughed...that is what I have to do when I don't know what to say. His waiter friend translated (again) it into "he said tag him on facebook"...He then came back to write his name down and the other waiter followed suit. We just made two more friends....Juan and Giogi. Hahahaha. We decided we wouldn't take further action on adding them on facebook until we were safe in our home country. 

I needed icecream so we hurried two doors down to grab some. Cheap and delicious and the only thing I took from that whole icecream experience was the ice cream scooper man talking about my icecream being "tiger striped...it's dangerous...like the animal, really dangerous" I just responded with a "I think I can handle it". We had 20 minutes to get to the bus station...a solid 20 minute walk...if we were walking FAST. If we missed the 11 bus we had to wait till one am, and that was not going to happen...we would of all been scary scary monsters. We started pumping. Everyone around us probably thought we were mad. Imagine this: Four young girls, holding ice cream, power walking and chatting all at the same time. One heck of a dinner and a show I'd say. We lucked out with the green lights and booked it down the narrow streets, drowning out the honks and the "Bonita"s that were yelled at us. Side note: we seriously feel like celebs...


Just you take a guess at what happens next.


We made it! But barely. The bus was full and there was just a small line of people getting on. The wheels backed out right at eleven with us aboard. 


We got home to Clyde barking, no surprise there, and a chilled home. I'd like to add here that Jenna is so weird. I mean I am weird but she is just cooky. Jenna and Morgan were skyping MaryAnn and all you could here was Jenna howling and saying funny things...none the less my abs definitely got a work out from her crazy words. Dang hilarious that one is. Amanda and Clyde became on one length, he followed her around and when she ran, he ran...when she jumped, miraculously he jumped it was a hoot and a half. 


Another one for the books, I am beginning to think there is not going to be a day where someone doesn't make us feel special and wonderful. We are all dreading going back to the States because no one there will buy us yummy drinks for being outgoing and ridiculous...or call us pretty when we walk by...we are going to be just like everyone else once again...No fun. If it stays this good around here I may just be investing in a longer stay...Mom, I might need some more money ;) Beach tomorrow, soooo pretty much the spf 50+ is covering every crack of my body...goal number one: no more sunburns! 

I hate it when people mistake me for a celebrity.

Today will be considered one of the most memorable days on this trip. In the early morning kitty cat (I don't remember it's name) rubbed it's stupid little body all over me. It was already a billion degrees in my bedroom and I didn't need a fur ball cat rubbing up on me, so...I pushed him off the bed. This same action happened at least 7 more times, each time I yelled a little bit and sternly gazed up the cat but it didn't stop him from hopping up on the bed to purr in my face or bite my toes. He eventually got the boot, a swift kick in the behind and he was done for. Except by that point I was wide a wake damnnuggit. It was around 8:30 a.m. and I was pretty bored so I just started cleaning things. Me. Mary Kaercher started to clean things. It was a freak of nature accident, don't expect it to ever happen again...
Our kitchen was infested with little ants but instead of festering in one place they were attacking from every end of the wall. I got out my soapy water and started to kill. Bravely I took  down each and every one of those little buggers with the spray bottle, but when it came to cleaning them up with a towel I was a coward. I would like to note that I am not a bug person. No bugs at all, they all creep me out and I just dont. do. bugs. So I felt really proud when I wiped all their lifeless bodies up, applied the vinegar and continued my freak cleanings.  


My housemates woke up earlier than usual and the day began. A little breakfast and then a quick decision ended Jenna, Morgan and I in tennis shoes and sport bras running around Valencia. The jog was definitely hot, even at 11 am this sun boils your skin. I had sunscreen on because my early morning escapades had led me to applying it vigorously to pass time. Our run wasn't mapped out and we got a little lost, but with the help of the big ol' towers we found our way back home again. This afternoon was dubbed a relaxing/upload photos kind of afternoon and we did so accordingly. We laid out in the sun, swam, uploaded photos to facebook and ate. Wonderful? You betcha. It got even more dynamite when we found the small trampoline...our jumping photos just got an upgrade! 

It was then decided to go into town and check out the night life. We all got ready giggling and listening to music and sipping some bubbly wine from a plastic bottle that actually was pretty good. We all looked fabulous (obviously) and we sat around waiting for 8 o'clock to come around. Yeah so, 8 o'clock came around and we missed it, so we went for the 8:30 bus instead. Waiting at the bus stop Jen realizes she doesn't have her camera, and Manda doesn't have her party ring, necessities. We have ten minutes to spare if the bus is not a minute too early so Jenna goes a running back to the house. Mind you it is still a solid 81 degrees outside. The jeopardy music comes on and the three of us tap our toes angstily waiting for her return. Will she make it? We don't know, but I sure as heck don't want to wait for the 9 o'clock bus...Minutes pass and the angstiness is almost unbearable. Morgan narrates Jen's sprint , "She is rounding the dirt corner..." and BAM Jenna appears, slightly off from Morgan's prediction but even so she made it. It wasn't even bad that she was hot and sweaty because she just glistened. 


We conjectured the idea to walk to the restaurant instead of bike so we didn't have any obligations to attend to (If we bike, they have to be turned back in at midnight...or else...). We followed the river this time making it a lot easier to find the cathedral and our restaurant. Tonight we dined at Du Plex, this cute little cafe stashed away in a small street corner. Our waitress spoke little English but did provide us with American menus. We had some pan and vino and ordered our delectable food. We were sitting in the small upstairs part of the restaurant and all of a sudden our waitress had our food. She didn't walk downstairs it just appeared, and that is when we noticed it: the coolest food elevator ever. Brought the food right up for eating. Clever, shoulda thought of that one. We were all happy and poised until it came time for the bill and we needed to split it. Up until tonight everyone has been very good about splitting the check with four cards but these Du Plex people just didn't have it together. It took about a good 15-20 minutes to run all of our cards and get them signed. It was just a hassle. 


It was then onto the search for the bars. We backtracked using solely our memories (thank you every high school play and acting class for my memorization skills), weaving back though streets and areas to get back to the water. We felt safest next to the water and figured it was our best bet for a good time. We first came across this fun bar just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. The bartenders were pretty attractive Spanish men and mixed us up some fruity blah blah blahs. On our next hunt we pretended we were celebrities because it definitely felt like it with everyone staring at us. It is like they have never seen four light haired girls (Canadians) in one place, or everyone over here just has a staring problem...hoping not for the later of the two. 


The rest of the night consisted of walking into places and checking out what they had to offer. We most definitely wanted to dance our pants off (not literally). And after a few tries at some not so friendly older people bars we finally found some people our age. American music flowing through the speakers with low lights and lots of people swingin' their hips. The Spanish boys swarmed us asking us questions and asking if they were cute. I thought it was hard at times to understand what they were saying in English and ended up just shrugging my shoulders and saying "no hablo espanol". Clap, clap, clap hippopotamus. Next we traveled a couple doors down where the music was hot and it was looking really inviting. We walked in and heads turned. Now I don't want to sound conceited, it was more like their Spanish heads are triggered to follow blondes. A blonde walks into a bar and (this sounds like a beginning to a lame joke...) heads turn, it is a fact. Anyways we start dancing and this one guy gets up on my grill, steps on my flippy flop and as I try to take a run for it, he takes my shoe, breaking my flippy flop. We asked for tape but the bar didn't have any so we resorted to just having one shoe. After an attempt of switching shoes and Morgan going barefoot then getting told she had to have shoes, I ended up with one regular flip-flop and one broken one, completely useless except for to stand directly on. I WOULD BREAK A FLIP FLOP. Just had to get that out of my system. Morgan had the brilliant idea of using a bobby pin, so we weaved and heaved and pressed a bobby pin in there to make it work, which it did if I walked carefully, not really suitable for the dance club scene. The bouncer who told Morgan she needed shoes smiled and thumbs us up when he saw we all had two shoes. Eight shoes total. Morgan got a photo with him, he was cool except he occasionally went for the butt touch, but then again it might just be a coincidence. 


At one point in this club we were surrounded and packed together with tons of Spanish boys. We were dancing with our arms like all Americans do as the Spanish boys danced without their arms....when Manda got run into by some guy he said sorry but in Spanish and she replied with an English "Oh that's okay". He: "You speak English?" Manda: "Yes, do you?" He: "I'm from Philadelphia" Manda: "Montana"...and the friendship began. These American boys saved us from the impassioned Spanish boys who were up in our bidnesssss. He saved Morgan from getting her rump rubbed by asking to swing dance. They swing danced away to the Spanish music and told us to just look for him and say "Novio" whenever we needed rescued. Hippopotamus. So from then on he was our "Novio" aka "Boyfriend". Later we had a conversation with him and his brother and found out that they were leaving tomorrow but had been here for four weeks, kind of like us. Hugh and Owen were our knights in sweaty armor last night. We also got very good at saving each other, we yelled SAVE ME and instantly someone was there to pull you away, beeline for the door but right before the exit swerve and get right back into the fun. Repeat. Repeat again. Hippopotamus. For the rest of the night it was dodging lustful Spanish boys, hoping on one foot, and kissing the cheeks of a birthday boy. We had danced all night long and had to catch the three am bus. We left in a rush and met one more boy from South Dakota on the way out. 

NOVIO aka Hugh

My poor brown flip-flop had had enough fun for the night, it wouldn't even stick together for the walk home. So I went with one, limping down the rickety streets of Spain with one brown flip-flop, sweat pouring down my face, and a slight droop to my right eye from tiredness. We were on the bus, Jenna fell asleep and almost knocked me out when we woke her up... and then we were home in a jiffy...well walking from the bus stop wasn't so jiffy since I was limping and it actually kind of hurt at that point...those roads are rocky not smooth...But we all brushed our teeths and went to bed making it one heck of a night to remember. I was glad it was a good one because we are scheduling in going out because it was one adventure for the books. Adios...until next time! :)